chickengemma.com

4 April 2008

This week the Royal Mint at its HQ in Llantrisant, Wales unveiled the winning new designs of the British currency.
Competition winner, Bangor born designer Matthew Dent ,26, controversially took each of the parts of the royal coat of arms and divided them onto the reverse side of the coins from 1p through to 50p.
‘‘It’s an interesting paradox’’ says Jenny Randerson one of the founding members of the Welsh Assembly Government “….pride that the designer is Welsh combined with the fact that his own country’s emblem is the only one not included’.
I then asked Jenny, Assembly Member for Cardiff Central, herself an English immigrant to Wales what she thinks it means to be Welsh today?
“Welsh identity has certainly flowered’’ she says. ‘I moved here thirty years ago, no Welsh blood in me, but when I write country of origin I put Wales’’. ‘’It’s tiring to explain to people I’m from Wales, it’s in Britain not England. The only place that I’ve ever been where you get universal acknowledgement is the South of France, where they shout ‘le rugby!’’
The ever enthusiastic Jenny then reached for a pen and frantically began formulating an internet petition for No.10 in London regarding the coins. From today people in Wales will be wondering about the pound in their pockets.
AW

60 days later. 2:30am on the first day of my 23rd year.
Life doesn’t get any slower. It’s only when my head hits the pillow, I pause for reflection.

I’m at that crucial point in life, applying for jobs and in effect choosing the direction in which to take my life. Thanks to the modern world of online recruitment, I’ve been forced to ask myself every question possible.

Writing my first proper CV it occurred to me that for ten of my twenty two years I have been immersed in Japanese, and have spent 18 months of my life actually in Japan. A part of me is there. It’s undeniable, but I’m not that either. I’ll never be one of ‘those’ foreigners, I won’t pretend to be what I’m not, when I’m there I’m the guest.

The reverse culture shock is indeed the worst. I met a lot of Japanese people who have lived abroad for some time, and no longer feel that they fully fit in back home. I experienced first hand, the boy of my host family in Wakayama who had lived in the US and Canada, being treated as an outsider in his own country.

But am I any different as a Westerner? I think too much of myself, I am not a ”citizen of the world”, adaptable to any world at a moments notice. I am human, and transcending cultures of the world is not something done in an instant.

Living abroad has made me 10x stronger, but also 10x more observant of my own culture.
It’s green but dirty, people are rude, lazy, pessimistic, sarcastic, warm, true and drunk.
It’s impossible to say I like one more than the other, but I miss things depending where I am. In Japan all I wanted to do was be a little bit bad, mess about in the park. Yet this time round, surprisingly I feel more constrained by society back home in the UK.

Inside the ultra obsessive world of Japan as a foreigner you are granted a license to be pretty reckless. You are an outsider, and to all intensive purposes an idiot. But in time you can play it to your advantage, people can expect the worst of you so within reason I enjoyed it. Perhaps what’s even better is when you have an experience like mine in the newspaper, and you actually penetrate in, then they really don’t know what to make you of. I never fitted in, but I did eventually understand their little world, and for many that freaked them right out - much to my amusement. So suddenly back at home, I’m on best behaviour again.

So what’s to become of Mr Wood, the dynamic motivated (insert empty statement of your choice) young graduate to be.

Turns out I like this whole writing thing, and will pursue it. It’s pure irony that each day I continue to study the ’science’ of Management the less I wish to be involved. So far I’m in the selection process of Reuters & Bloomberg, both of whom will give me good opportunities to maintain a relationship with Japan.

Whatever does come of me I have a few things I want to say. Over the past 14 months so many people touched me, and as a sort of memoir I want to list them here.

Mr Hada, Professor of Kobe who without your help I would have never worked at the paper, and not be where I am today. Red, the Filipino lady who worked in my local convenience store on Port Island, you always cheered me up and reminded me I wasn’t alone. Jonas of Sweden, your omnihappiness amazed me all year round. Cute round Thai Lady at my favourite Thai greasy spoon, coming to your place was like stepping out of Japan for an hour, half the time I couldn’t understand what you were saying but your soup brought a tear to my eye (quite literally). Julie, I love how you love your meat. Miyuki, I never thought I’d find someone as obsessed about food as me. Mr Koshiro at the paper, you always took time out to help me understand everything. Yoko, you introduced me to another world, entertaining the ladies of South Osaka. Lyn, you made me feel proud to be British. Ryan, you opened my eyes to another view of the other side of the pond.

And finally. Mr Hirose my manager at the paper, you tried so hard to get me dates with hot women at the office, if only you knew.

On my penultimate day, I feel very reflective on this whole experience. So, what have I learnt?!!

1. The stereotype that Japanese business is overformal and stuffy is in my opinion false.

Yes there really are millions of bows, and I say a lot of untranslatable things I really don`t mean such as `I`m humbly coming under your care` and `Please honourably bestow goodness upon me in the future`. But we do many things like that in English every day as well, how often do you ask people `How are you` and not mean it or care about the response. Sometimes I wonder if it`s not easier in Japan because at least it`s very clear and set who says what to who, no awkward silences here.

2. In a Japanese company you are looked after, like family.

Which definitely has it`s positives and negatives. If I were a lonely bachelor this world would be heaven. Where else in the world does it seem like everyone is on the look out in the company to set you up on dates, and your manager will even help arrange the formalities. Though it may seem invasive and verging on big brother I`ve genuinely come to like it. It is true that you spent a lot more time at work in Japanese companies, but in that time life is actually a lot more social. Lunch isn`t spent at my desk with a limp plastic wrapped sandwich, it`s spent socialising with both staff and business contacts

3.  Communication is key

At first I found the way in which companies were so friendly with each quite alarming. Even some of the prewar era groups and loyalities still exist today. We could learn something from this though.

It`s not just about keeping your suppliers and customers sweet, in a typically Japanese way it`s about maintaining a relationship. In real terms this means going for dinner occassionally, and being invited to reciprocal press parties. But during those moments, a suprising amount of information is divulged between either parties, building up a greater and greater trust relationship. For example many of Japan`s greatest.. Toyota, Sharp, Panasonic etc, rely up on hundreds and hundreds of other suppliers within Japan for their products. Maintaining such a close relationship (to the point where they often have each others staff in their factories) , that production, stock and cooperation become like poetry.

That`s all for now, I`m off to visit the creator of Osaka in Second Life, in first life.

This whole experience, as well as my time in Japan is coming to an end.

Contradicting Japanese protocol, this internship has actually been fairly laissez faire. However on the whole it has been an excellent experience.

I’ve heard from friends that this year’s summer in Western Europe has been disappointing to say the least, well if you’re looking for scorching skin burning temperatures of up to 43c with oppressive smells on every street, then I suggest you look no further than Osaka.

With all due respect to the IAAF, I would love to know who’s idea it was to hold the International Athletics in the height of the Japanese summer. I am however looking very forward to going to the opening ceremony, and expect to be dazzled by a display of Osakan bouffant hair and shiny pointy shoes.

I feel slightly humbled by my work at the moment, of course I never expected to be able to write well, even in three months as I have no formal training or background in writing. But I feel like my spoken Japanese, especially confidence has improved tenfold. I’ve also been here long enough to be able to sense Japanese subtleties and know that my first draft handed this week wasn’t received too well. In the end, my manager actually wrote it up for me, and actually seeing the difference is definitely a positive experience.

I have a long way to go, but I’ll keep trying.

Thursday 26th August 14:30pm

I`m taken off with section leader to the video conference board room for a `study meeting`, sounds exciting!

Entering a large room with long tables and chairs, each with an individual microphone, I sit at the back with section leader. I was quite impressed by the big screen on the wall, where I could see all the top bods from the Tokyo office.

And so it began. Today`s theme was the upcoming election for the upper house in Japan. I still don`t quite understand who a lot of the people who talked from Tokyo were, but I think they all had media connections, from my company`s broad media group. This meeting pretty much sums up my main problem with speaking Japanese. I like to be direct, not brashly direct but to the point. I also never wish to bore everyone to death with a speech that has no conclusion.

Alas yet again I`ve been subject to another sleepfest. While my tone may sound negative about the experience, I do actually enjoy it, the irony of the whole thing. It took a mere 25 mins of painfully dull lecturering from Tokyo for the editor of the paper in Osaka to surrender to slumber. He was joined by my section leader, and I counted 5 others in the room temporarily in a better place.

Even better was that when the Tokyo people finally finished lecturing us, and asked our editor for his opinion, he was still fast asleep and had to be poked awake. Admitedly I struggled to understand a lot of the Japanese in the meeting, as I`m not yet too familiar with political terminology. Even though our Editor had luckily missed most of the lecturing, he still managed to crack an excellent vague and non conclusive response for the Tokyo team, genius. Now on to the resuls of the election. Taking a look at Prime Minister Abe`s mugshot here, it`s clear to see he took a real beating this time round. Such a severe beating in fact that it`s historically the worst defeat for the 5 decade long in power Liberal Democrat Party (Tory).

It makes me quite proud of Japanese people really, and I really do hope that this may be the kickstart of a movement away from the LDP in the next general election. Abe and his cabinet have managed in their very short term, a string of political faux pas and scandals and quite frankly I along with many in Japan think he should go. What an exciting time it is in Japan these days!

Today, I climbed a mountain… in office terms.

First I stumbled but then I made it, yes today I sent a fax. I feel a great sense of achievement and I’m not going to let anyone make it seem any less spectacular than it is. Probably what started this elation was that I truely am beginning to feel settled in, and I have actually created enough work to at least appear to be busy now.

Towards the end of last week things started to get a little low. As usual Tesco appeared to crap on my life from high above, even when I’m on the other side of the planet. Considering that my article would have been free publicity, getting information out of them was like getting blood out of a stone. Frankly speaking on the phone to Tesco’s press office in Chesnut was like a sudden slap in the face, reminding me of how unhelpful people in offices in Britain can be, of course the same is true in Japan but they don’t have the same amazing knack of making you feel awful about yourself.

On a happier note though, now that my first ever article has indeed made it… into friday’s morning paper, and Tesco having pissed all over my hopes of an article I got up and asked Mr section leader for some work. It never fails to amaze me how kind and caring people have been at work so far. I always get the impression that our leader has time for me, and he sat me down, we had a good chat and he went off and searched for some press releases for me. He also found me a fascinating magazine similar to The Economist or BusinessWeek in Japan that had a special on the UK and compared policies from Thatcher years onward in both countries. It was actually really interesting to read about your own country from another perspective, and makes you think… it’s not all that bad after all is it?

In the past few weeks I have had one noticable change. I think partly due to being overwhelmed with information I`ve started to switch off a lot. What can seem like me translating directly in my head without realising can soon turn into not taking the information in. Not taking full blame, public speakers of Japan need to share some of this responsibility.

I do thoroughly enjoy one to one interviews with company directors, who come out of their over 75 year old shells and tell interesting stories in Osakan Dialect.

But I can count numerous times when I`ve caught people being asleep during Press Releases and AGMs. This isn`t just members of the public, this includes the persons involved who are presenting, journalists and even people on stage.

Even though lack of sleep is like a national sport here, it has to be the utterly humdrum way in which many people speak. When it comes to having a large audience, TV cameras etc, suddenly the bastions of Japanese formality cause an utter implosion of any character in their voice or manner.

Body language withers away as they stay sat in their chairs in front of an audience, microphone near obstructing their mouth and removing the need for them to inject any enthusiasm whatsover into their voice. This problem is not limited to the older generation who dominate the top end of Japanese firms, the few young directors slip into this trait as well.

I willing to accept it as cultural difference… of course. But after only a month and a half of being here I notice how pained the speaker and the listener feel. It feels like a 2 hour long endurance test. I want to listen, I really do but more often than not I find they are regurgitating the information I have in front of me on the press sheet.

In a country famously skilled at efficiency, and striving to make everything better, I don`t understand how and why everybody puts up with it.　This is about the best video I could find on Youtube of how it is. Unusually it looks like one of them is standing while talking. Notice the cute rosettes, and around 00:26, you can see the press seats where I and others start to fall asleep.

At one particularly dull meeting, discussing the future of the Economically falling behind region that I currently reside in, I had the pleasure seeing what I think is Japan`s answer to Margret Thatcher. As Japan`s first ever female Governer, she appears to following in her footsteps with her tough image.

Ms Fusae Ota

At the meeting every mayor and prefectural governer in this region was sat at one long table on a stage with an uninspiring main speaker (from a development NGO) . She did a wonderful job of representing true Osakan character and after some time naughtily started having a conversation, first with Hyogo Prefecture (neighbouring area) and then she had the Governer of Sakai (a suburb of Osaka) all in a what seemed a lot more fun that what the rest of us were subject to, right in front of the speaker, press and cameras. Ms Ota, I salute you.

A once again neglected blog.

Things have been changing at work a lot though. I now do less of the accompanying reporters
on their interviews and conferences, and more of the actual nitty gritty of work. At first of course it felt a little like the honeymoon period coming to an end, but I realise and acknowledge that it`s probably for my own good.

I was featured, by name just last week on Thursday. I`ll try to insert a picture into this entry as soon as I get it up. Quite sweet really, my name just popped in at the end next to the writer`s name and said `This story was taken charge of by…`. I`m enjoying showing it to the Japanese ladies I teach Engrish too and hearing the Oooohs (actually in Japanese it`s more like Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeei) .

If all goes to plan, my first ever self penned article will be going to print tonight. It`s on a new pram, just a basic new product release. Of course I received lots of help in the writing process but I can at least claim that the bare bones and structure that I wrote is still there.

Oddly enough Newspaper writing in Japanese is the complete opposite of speaking Japanese, it`s direct and to the point. I think it`d be fair to compare some articles to writing in bullet points on a powerpoint presentation in English, just the bare bones needed. Literally in my writing on the pram, sentences that said `The bag on the back of the pram also functions as a stylish shoulder bag` was slashed down to half it`s length in Japanese characters, beyond the point of direct translation into English.

I`m also working on my very own project too. It`s a bit tricky because I`m making a story but where there isn`t actually anything of note to write about… yet. I was advised that it might be easier initially to write about a UK company with operations in Japan, and after much thought I chose that loveable champion of Globalisation….

NB, This is a Tesco Thailand advert, a taste of things to come here.

Yes, they are here. Here`s an image of their first store opening in Tokyo.

Along with a failing miserably Walmart subsidary and a ruined Carrefour venture. That`s what has caught my interest, Tesco are going in with a completely different strategy in this tough land, where the world`s number 1 and 2 have failed.

More about that as it develops.

I`ve been on holiday and sadly neglected my blog.

Back at work now, and feeling a lot more settled in with routines becoming more and more normal.

Before I go back to normal daily reporting, I thought I`d mention a few unusual things I`ve noticed in my working life in Japan.

In the corridor with the staff noticeboards is a poster that keeps catching my eye. Basically in roughly translated Japanese it say `You CAN take holidays`, `A good worker takes holidays` and `Refresh yourself and you`ll work better`.  It may sound a little draconian but it seems to be a real issue here. In fact in almost every weekly group briefing we have, our team manager suggests to people that it`s a good time to ask for holiday. If this isn`t dedication to your job, then I don`t know what is.

 Last friday I had my first `official` company party or in Japanese `KOMPA`, cellebrating some new members of our section. I actually had a really good time. In honesty, before this whole experience I`ve been nervous, nervous of making mistakes and nervous of not understanding what is going on. I think partly I`m lucky because perhaps people in the media are a little more relaxed, or maybe I`ve read too many horror stories, but on the whole I feel quite comfortable.

After our feast of fresh seasonal pike conger (sea eel), the party was brought to an end in true Japanese fashion. Everyone stood up shouted something along the lines of `Yoooooooosh` and clapped once. Quite a nice definite end really.

 The stronger of us then went onto a bar, one of the new members seemed determined to get us all into a `girl`s bar` or basically a hostess bar. Thankfully, somehow all that fake praying at Japanese shrines paid off and I was spared the pleasure as the place was full.

However judging by the glint in his eyes I haven`t got away easily, he told me he`s planning a party with me and him and lot of the OL (Office Ladies) so I can pick one I like. Great.

Today was yet again an interesting assignment.

I was told we were off to visit a company that had a new product release, something about home safety management, and to be honest it didn`t sound that exciting. This is added to the fact that I`ve noticed that I`ve started to switch off when people talk to me a work, so I don`t think I`m always getting the picture of what`s going on.

So, we arrive at a giant fake western hotel, and I`m confused, apparently we`re just popping in for a wee. Which takes us to the rooftop, and to my surprise an utterly tacky, fake “German Chapel“, complete with a fake plaque proclaiming it`s centuries long establishment, on top of a newly built hotel. Making things even more interesting, I realise while I`m waiting for the reporter that there is actually a service going on in there. Suddenly a blushing bleached hair chavvy wife pops out, with unimpressed husband, to a crowd of four people, who appear to not even looking in the right direction.

When they threw the confetti in the wrong direction too, I realised they were actually blind, and was then told that this was all a farce! Actually a demonstration for the blind people, who were choosing where to have their wedding. I`m going to have to take a camera to work from now on, you`d have to be there to see how messed up the image really was. Oh and then the fake priest came out, who is obviously an western failed actor, and I`d happily question his devotion to the good lord. Somewhat worryingly, nobody seems to care that this is all completely fake, and I forgot to mention built right next to one of the busiest rail lines in Japan, connecting Osaka and Kobe…. romantic!

After that small shock in the early afternoon, we popped down to the 2nd floor, and visited the offices of this `safety company`. So far today`s interview has been the easiest to understand, first time. Since the last major earthquake in Japan, in Kobe, which killed a few thousand people, the Government has invested heavily in tremor detection systems, underground and sea.

As a result of this a company based in Osaka has created a truely remarkable product. It`s one of those great, uniquely Japanese inventions which seems nothing special, but under the surface is a work of brilliance, a bit like a toilet seat that warms`s your bum.

The system looks like a wireless box for the internet, and does indeed connect to the internet. Should a tremor occur, clever little computers calculate near instantly where will be affected and when. They then send a signal down to people`s boxes, and it politely informs you in Japanese that a earthquake, is indeed coming, be prepared!

Again, it may not sound that impressive, but when you see a demo of how fast the sensors pick this up, and inform you, giving you up to a minute to turn your gas off and get under a table, it`s the difference between life and death.

But wait… there`s more! It also has a remote as a panic button for the sick or decrepit, with two levels of panic; send an email to your relative`s phone, or get an ambulance. Genius.

I am once again, throroughly impressed. And today I also started writing my first ever report for the paper…. which I`ll write about another time.